My Cowboy Cousin

Strange thing, death. But, we have hope...

"Spencer John Miller, 24, was born on September 21, 1985 in Colorado Springs, Colorado to William L. Miller and Maureen Petersen Miller. Spencer passed away on November 15, 2009 as the result of an automobile accident in Pueblo.

Spencer graduated from Calhan High School in 2004 where he was extremely active. He was the 2004 Class President and the Football Team Captain. After high school, he attended and graduated with a degree in finance from Colorado State University in Forth Collins. He was a cowboy first in his professional life and a well-respected banker in the community.
Spencer was an outgoing and personable man with a love for God, his family and friends. He would light up a room just by walking through the door. He enjoyed getting together with people for events of all types. His life was a testimony to his Christian faith. He has expressed his love and devotion for Jesus since his baptism at age 14 by Rick Cofer at the Living Word Church in Calhan.

Being a professional rodeo contestant was paramount in Spencer's life. He made impeccable choices in the friends he kept. His roping partners are incredible mature men that mentored and counseled Spencer in many walks of life. In his younger years, he was a member of the Little Britches Rodeo, moving to the Colorado High School Rodeo Association and ultimately a member of the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association.

Spencer is survived by his mother, Maureen Miller; father, William L. Miller; brother, Stuart Miller; grandmothers, Regina Miller and Jeanne Petersen as well as numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. He knew and had a personal relationship with each one of these important individuals.

Visitation will be held on Thursday, November 19, 2009 from 3:00 to 7:00 p.m. at the Swan Law Funeral Directors. A funeral service will be held on Friday, November 20, 2009 at 11:00 a.m. at the Mountain Springs Church, 7345 East Woodmen Road, Colorado Springs. Private interment will take place. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made in Spencer's name to the Fellowship of Christian Cowboys. P.O. Box 3010, Colorado Springs, Colorado 80934."

- Obituary from the Colorado Springs Gazette

Dear Mean Person,

This has been a long time in coming, but I think we're both ready now. I came to a revelation today. And because it was all because of you, I feel you should be the first to know:

I.Don't.Like.You.

What? I can imagine you saying.

You heard me! I don't like you!

I don't get to choose everyone I come in contact with. Some people,I choose to be around, some people I get to be around and some people I have to be around. I have a lot of relationships that fall into the "choose to" and "get to" categories. But you, mean person, are in the third.

I don't like being around you because you don't treat me well. You're borderline rude, outright snarky and often just plain old mean. I've excused you for months now with inane comments like: "You're just having a bad day (which turned into bad week, which turned into bad month...)" "You don't know me well enough yet. I can still win you over!" "You're just stressed right now."

However, the excuses are over and done with. I've observed enough and heard enough to realize it's not me, it's you! I will respect you and be polite, but beyond that - nothing. I'm giving myself the freedom to stop trying to like you - you make it too hard! The dread before our encounters is not worth it. The stress headaches after our encounters are not worth it either!

I'm still going to give other people a chance. I'm still going to cultivate meaningful relationships. I'm still going to keep putting myself out there. But just to show you this isn't all about me, I wanted to let you in on a little secret. Ready?

You don't have to like me either.

Most Sincerely,
Kate

Nine Short Weeks

In nine short weeks...

...I will be walking across the stage towards a very special piece of paper.

...I will be done writing checks with phrases like "Tuition" or "Books" or "Parking Pass" in the memo line.

...I will be working. Just working.

...I will be going to bed at 9:30, or 8:30 if I want to!

...I will be missing the smell of new textbooks.

...I will be slowly forgetting how taking tests feels.

...I will be writing. For fun. And myself.

...I will be relieved. At peace. And done.

Who I Am

Competitive
- sometimes to a fault.

Talented
- and now not afraid to say it.

Responsible
- to the point of exhaustion.

Needing Encouragement
- never realized this one, until five months went by without it.

Strong
- I will stand up for others and now - finally - myself.

Adaptable
- until I realize I no longer should be in certain circumstances.

Valuable
- to those who can see past the ends of their own noses.

Accomplisher
- as I cross off item, after item, after item, after item...

Perfectionist
- dust must go and laundry must not pile...unless homework incapacitates me.

Trainer
- of myself, others, dogs...

Tough
- I will not let others treat me like I wouldn't treat them.

Just
- I give people a chance...sometimes too much of one...

Creative
- I need time to mull over an idea, but when I do - Amazing!

Particular / Anal
- what an asset! Unless the paper is due right now.

Loyal
- until you prove yourself unworthy of that loyalty.

Loved
- by God, my husband, my families and my friends. (Oh - and two dogs!)

Is this Ok?

Can I write an entire blog post using only questions? Not a single answer? Will you get sick and click that "x" or keep reading?

How do we spend more time with those we've chosen to have in our lives? How do we get beyond the "should'ves and gottas" to spend quality moments - and lots of them - with the people we claim to care about?

How do the responsibilities grow so large that they block the sun, the light, any hope for a peaceful future?

How do I just STOP it all and take a peaceful moment? And find the time for healthy choices, healthy activities and healthy relationships?

How do we move beyond the stress of work and find the joy?

Does it ever get easier?

(Aren't you glad you encouraged me to get back on the blogging wagon?)

The Sound of Silence

I've been pretty quiet lately...and was chastised for it last night! So, to keep my extensive readership happy and knowledgeable, here's what I haven't blogged about over the last couple/many weeks:

1. I did not lose my job! However, a guy in my dept. did. This leads to me taking over all of his responsibilities after his final day on Sept. 27 and making my crazy life just that much more insane.

2. I nearly lost the tip of my finger to a my dogs teeth: While breaking up a fight between Sadie and another dog, my right-hand index finger got in Sadie's mouth (don't even ask - it happened too fast. All I DO know is I remember the moment when her teeth cut through my flesh. Not a fun memory.) I got five stitches from edge to edge. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch and ouch. I've since discovered the great sensitivity of finger tips.

3. My final semester of school has begun. I feel like there should be an exclamation point behind that sentence, but I'm waiting for the elation to set it - it hasn't yet...

4. I'm still pondering the diet thing - we'll see.

5. I would love to post some great pictures of our amazingly redone kitchen. However, I'm NEVER home during the day for good light. So, try to be patient. Maybe this weekend?

6. I had a great weekend with my newly-turned-11-year-old sister! We did a spa day, went to see UP (a great movie! I cried. Twice.), went shopping and had some good chats. Happy (belated) birthday Janna girl!

And that's what's happened while I've been inaudible here. More audibility to come. Promise.

Perfect Timing

I made the decision about which job I was going to keep. (Job #1)

I had my farewell lunch with co-workers from my former job yesterday.

After that lunch, I went to my new job for the afternoon.

Where I found out that next Thursday, 9 or 10 people from the new place will be laid off.

Do you see the irony here?